If You Had An iPhone, You Could Be Outside Right Now

If you had an iPhone:
-You could be sipping coffee at at Second Cup while blogging about human rights violations in China (and not pay a penny for data use). The iPhone advertising on your blog might even pay for that coffee. It is even cooler if you blog about the poor working conditions of the Chinese workers who made your $200 iPhone.
-You could be at the beach (in Toronto or Oshawa) listening to streaming music, with regular interruptions to check your stocks.
-You could show off the pictures of your fake dog when you meet a hot dog owner at the park. "My ex got custody of my dog" (show picture of hot person with pet). If you just came up with this pick-up line, thanks to the iPhone, you can surf the Internet to collect the necessary "evidence".
-You could interpret tattoos (write down the Chinese symbol on your iPhone and have it translated via Google Translate). This is particularly useful if the tattoo is on your lover's back and you have time to kill). Or, if you are a women, you can use it 5 minutes later when your lover is sound asleep.
-You could start a conversation with anybody about how using the iPhone is so expensive and how Rogers is evil and it is all the fault of, your choice, lack of competition or lack of regulation. Or be a true Liberal and blame the lack of competition AND the lack of regulations.
-You could start a conversation saying how much you love your iPhone and how you are so happy about your Apple investment. You wiil come off as a snob, but who cares, at this point you are rich.
-You could google trouble shooting steps when your PC stops working properly.
-You could shop on ebay while waiting in line at the Dollar store.
-You could write/blog about your latest global warming solution while taking the bus.
-You could listen to your legally purchased music. Heck, with an iPhone, you can buy music while waiting for the elevator (if you have wifi access).
-You could watch TV from back home.
-You could appear knowledgeable at public meetings.
-You could buy, install and use the latest software while waiting in line at the grocery store!
-You could be trendy.
-You could tease Blackberry Bold owners.
-You could semi-knowledgeably argue about Israel even if you live in Jordan or Egypt.
-You could look for work in Australia while stuck in a snow storm.
-You could quote from the Bible (or look up obscure passages).
-You could bribe you way out of a bind.
-You could watch Rambo (or 2000 other titles) at your mother in-laws (on her TV, with the appropriate accessory, sold separately) for $4.99.
-You could remember Father's Day.
-Thanks to visual voice mail, you could skip voice mails from your Mom (I don't have a link for that one, I love hearing from my Mom).
-You could come up with some great arguments at your next town council .
If you had an iPhone, you could:
-Insult 7 million people on your way to work.
-Research local business opportunities on business trips,
-Stay in touch with the latest Clinton gaff.
-Make more informed shopping decisions.
-Research investments while waiting for the bus.
-Easily write Québécois without searching for the accent aigu (é).
-Rewrite the constitution while in the taxi on the way to your next first ministers conference.
-Serch for a better leader during a Jack Layton speach.
-Save a fortune on marketing consultants.
-Change the world while in bed.
-Walk out of Future Shop empty handed (but with a full wallet).
-Be happy you don't live in Ontario.
-Pass the time while in transit at Pearson International Airport in Toronto.
-Google alteranatives to swimming accross the border.
-Watch and then pass along great Youtube videos.
-Search for something to watch during commercials.
-Remind yourself why you are not buying a Toyota.
-Keep up to date with high art.
-Scare you flight mates.
-Campaign for John McCain.
-Avoid alerting your boss to your treasonous behaviour

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