Does Canada Need Provinces?

Dear readers,

Suffering from a bad case of insomnia, tonight I attempted to amend the Charlottetown Accord and present a new and improved constitution that desperate politicians could grab onto.

When I was an 18 year old Quebecker, I voted for the Charlottetown constitutional agreement. Some of the clauses seem hard to believe today. For example, Quebec would always have 25% of the seats in Parliament.

Now if New Brunswick were guaranteed 25% of the seats, that I could live with. Also, there is no clause that points out that bilingual people are morally superior and better looking. Maybe it was implied with the Canada clause.

I can't believe there was a referendum on that document. That is one convoluted document. No wonder the status quo won (although the status quo lost in New Brunswick and Ontario, also know as the smart provinces, as implied with the Canada clause).

There are a couple of important loopholes in the document. The one that comes to mind (and I may be wrong on this one) is the territorial integrity of the provinces. What if, in order to guarantee Quebec has 25% of the seats in parliament, we gave Toronto to it? We could start with Scarborough...

Anyway, as I was trying to decide if we should give telecommunications to the provinces and trying to determine if this would affect my ability to get an iPhone this June, I concluded that perhaps it would be a lot easier to get rid of the provinces. And we should do so before the next round of Alberta Ralph bucks.

Now, obviously, some Quebeckers might object to this. But I'm pretty sure that if we rename the country Québec and adopt French as our official language they would acquiesce. "Les dollars Ralph" has a nice ring to it.

Your friend,

Altavistagoogle.

Updated 2008-05-21: Edited for brevity.