2006-10-27

Canada Should Join France

Canadian benefits of the country joining France:

-5 weeks annual vacation;
-Say goodbye to snow thanks to labour mobility: France spans the Caribbean, South America, North America, Africa, Oceania and Europe. Being a member of the European Union means you can live in any of the 25 member countries, including England.
-Quebec would be less likely to separate. Not that they wouldn't want to leave, Quebec would simply not be allowed to leave. Heck, Quebec would no longer exist!
-Provinces would be abolished, so no more constitutional debates about power sharing. Paris decides, end of story.
-We would have the bomb.
-It would annoy the USA.
-Wine would be much cheaper.
-You could have a beer at McDonald's.
-We would be 100% metric.
-Some oil sand workers would be working for a domestic company (Total).
-We would respect the Kyoto accord.
-Our cars would be way cooler (albeit smaller).
-No more Queen or Governor General.
-Steven Harper would no longer be prime minister.
-Women and men could sunbathe topless at Lake Louise.
-A coast to coast TGV would be built and what is now France would pick up 66% of the bill.
-Albertans could no longer brag about lower income and sales tax.
-The mayor of Moose Jaw could also be the President of the Republic.
-We would win some ski medals during the Vancouver Olympic games.
-Everybody would get into French immersion.
-Drinking age would be 16.
-Drving age would be 18.
-Fir and seal skin would be popular again.
-Tim Hortens would no longer have the best coffee in town, but they would serve espresso.
-We could be hockey AND soccer world champions.
-We would have better health care. Drugs, dental care and artificial insemination would be free.
-Gerard Kennedy would get the national education standards. As a bonus, he wouldn't even have to come up with any as we would have to use France's.
-Showering would be optional. So would shaving. So more time for sex.
-We could stop being nice and so polite. Parisians would always be worse.
-Toronto would no longer be the centre of the known universe.

-And last but not least, English Canadians would finally find out what if feels like to live in a country where 75% of the population doesn't speak their language.

1 comment:

SouthernOntarioan said...

Yes, and we also would share in annual (or all-year-round) "Torch-the-car" festival in the suburbs.

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