2008-05-31

I am Thinking About Seeing a Psychiatrist About My iPhone Obsession

My name is Altavistagoogle and I am an iphonoholic. I don't actually have an iPhone (they are unavailable in Canada), I'm just completely obsessed with news about the iPhone. I know it is irrational. But I know I'm not alone with this obsession.
 
This week, I pored a good chunk of my life savings into Apple because of the presumed upcoming release of the new and improved iPhone and its availability worldwide. I know a guy in Moncton who quit his job this week to work full time, in Moncton, making iPhone software applications, in Moncton. Then there are all the blogs devoted exclusively to the iphone. All the newspaper articles, completely devoid of news, that are devoted to the device. And you start to get the idea that people are iphone gaga.
 
-I now understand treckies.
 
-I now understand Star Wars geeks.
 
-You're 30 and you read Harry Poter, I now get it.
 
-You devote 50% of your income to your Corvette. Now seems perfectly understandable.
 
I think the iPhone should be awarded the Nobel Peace prize. I realise the thing isn't even available in Sweden or Norway, but trust us non-using iphone fans, the thing is amazing. Forget giving laptops to children in the third world, give them iPhones!
 
But back to my iPhone obsession. I don't know of any iPhone obsession self help groups, so I'm thinking about seeing a psychiatrist (psychologist can't prescribe anything, what's the point). The problem is, I can just imaging sitting down, spending 30 minutes poring my heart out about my iPhone obsession, and the doctor would go "so what is this, iPhone?" And I would murder the doctor and end up in jail before the iPhone would be released in Canada which would really suck. I really feel sorry for lifers. I mean sure, no freedom would suck, but no iPhone, for their entire lives!
 
Remember being a kid during December? The wait for Christmas was almost unbearable. I'm sure you feel nostalgic about that time. Don't, it sucks. I wish someone would knock me into a coma until June 9th, 1:59PM (Atlantic time). I can't stand the anticipation.
 
I could blame this iPhone obsession on my love life or my lack of meaningful hobbies (don't even get me started about my job), but I blame Google News. It is an amazing tool to completely lose all sense of perspective. You Google News iPhone enough and you will convince yourself it is the only thing anybody is writing about. It is worse if you can read Canadian, American, British AND Australian English (I'm well travelled). Not to mention French. The French like the iPhone. They translate every single iPhone article into French and write a few of their own for good measure.
 
For a while there, I was reading German articles as I couldn't find enough iPhone info on the French language Swiss sites. By the way, didn't we win the war? How come we allow Germans to use (and write about) the iPhone in non-English?
 
So what is the Chinese symbol for iPhone?
 
My previous  posts.
 
 

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