2007-09-26

I Hate Toronto Because Toronto Sucks

Let's All Hate Toronto (I hate Toronto so much I'm boycotting this documentary, which I haven't seen and assume is terrible because it is about Toronto.)

Actually, I think most people hate Torontonians more that they hate the city. However, that would violate Canada's hate laws. So instead, we hate Toronto. But just so you know, "I hate Toronto" is code for "we hate you, because you live in Toronto". Nothing personal, just that you are one of them.

"Toronto's biggest problem is that it consists entirely of people from places like Saint John N.B. who are 'instantly entranced' and 'remain so today'." ( F S from Canada, Comment section of the Globe and Mail's April 14 article: Toronto: Love it? Hate it?)

Most people who speak English here in Moncton are former residents of Toronto (I have no statistics to back this up, but it feels that way). Hence, they are Toronto rejects. They left Toronto for various reasons. In Toronto speak, they are failures. The people who are successful in Toronto, stay in Toronto. The residents who are unsuccessfully either starve to death or move away.

That said, here in Moncton, Toronto is almost irrelevant. Sure, if you work for a bank or Canadian telecom (and many do), then Toronto is home to the irritating HQ and or marketing department. However, many of the employers in town have nothing to do with Toronto. Imperial Oil comes to mind (800 employees). The papers are owned by locals (the Irving family). The beer is local to NB (Moosehead). The grocery store (Sobeys) has its HQ in Halifax. Insurance is under provincial jurisdiction and is a major employer in town.

In fact, if, as in the USA, banking was a provincial jurisdiction, then Toronto would be even less relevant. I'd add telecommunications to the list. Perhaps then Toronto would be less hated.

-Stay in Toronto and You Will Die. Move to New Brunswick ;
-Immigrants Should Visit Canada Before Moving to Toronto ;
-New Yorker Emigrates to Toronto and ends up Unemployed .
-Toronto Sucks .
-Does Tony Blair Speak Better French Than You Do?

And completely unrelated (except that he was the only non-Torontonian Liberal Leadership Candidate):
-Stephane Dion is a Former Separatist!
-Police Academy (1984), the only good movie to ever feature Toronto.

Other Blogs/web sites:
-Don’t Hate Toronto
-Mr Toronto

7 comments:

Kuri said...

There's nothing stopping NB from setting up a provincial bank - Alberta has one.

Anonymous said...

what's funny is how much time you spend killing yourself over this. i live just outside of toronto... so i guess you would hate me by association. not until little while ago was i aware of just how much the rest of canada dislikes toronto, i mean i've heard rumours, but i thought they were just that. honestly... is there so little happening where you live that you must look elsewhere for entertainment? and if you ask me, devoting so much of your time to hating something so irrationally is kind of a waste. i most certainly don't think about other provinces in my day to day routine, maybe you could focus on improving your city so you would have something to occupy your obviously bored mind. i really would like to know, how much of your day is focused on this? obviously a decent enough amount that you would feel the need to vent. ... get a hobby.

Anonymous said...

It's so sad that you feel that way, because Torontonians don't hate anyone, as a group. To be totally honest. we don't even think about New Brunswick.

Anonymous said...

i live in toronto and hate myself for doing so. this place is a shit hole full of corporate robots and at best, a poor man's new york city with crappier arts, sports teams and (of course) weather.

Anonymous said...

You all suck... Toronto rocks...
It's not New York or any other city... It's Toronto. And it's great.
Get fucked.

Anonymous said...

This all sounds tooo familiar. I think Hitler felt the same way about anyone who wasn't blonde because they existed. Get over yourself. You hate people just because they live in the safest major city in the world? Give me a break.

adrian_worldcup said...

I live In toronto and I can tell you guys that no we don't think were new York.... We are Toronto.... We don't think we are the best we like all other Canadian cities and love to visit them( instead of singing crappy hate songs about them) I have heard ppl in Vancouver hate Toronto a lot... My family friends moved to Vancouver from Toronto and got made fun of because they were from Toronto ..... If some kid from vancouver moved here our response would be. Oh cool..... There was an add in Vancouver a year ago about beer saying. Colder than the ppl in Toronto.. I just think to myself WTF why are they saying this were not the ones hating on other cities most of you ppl are

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