2008-08-30

Are You a Closet NDPer?

 
Originally posted 2008-02-16.
 
Maybe you are an NDPer and didn't know it?
 
Here is a questionnaire to help you out:
 
Taxes
War costs money. Lots and lots of money.
-If you are in favour of higher taxes to pay for foreign wars: vote Conservative.
-If you are in favour of slightly higher taxes to pay for foreign wars: vote Liberal
-If you want to save tax money by not paying for pointless foreign wars: vote NDP.
-If you are in favour of fuel efficient tanks for the war in Afghanistan: vote Green Party.
 
The Military
-The military should be well equipped but we should send soldiers over-sees so they don't get bored and ask for more money: Vote Conservative.
-Our brave soldiers are willing to get into whatever equipment we give them, with or without bullets, to keep the peace on the four corners of the world, but mostly in Afghanistan: Vote Liberal.
-Canada should have a well equipped, well paid military here in Canada, defending Canada: Vote NDP.
-We should encourage our military in Afghanistan to vacation in nearby Pakistan or Iran: Vote Green Party.
 
Housing
-Rich people should be financially encouraged to buy big houses as it gives jobs to construction workers: Vote Conservative.
-Every Canadian should aspire to live in a house and the federal government should financially encourage people who can already afford them. Higher housing prices are good for elderly home owners: Vote Liberal.
-The federal government should not financially encourage single detached dwellings, buy one if you want one and can afford it : Vote NDP.
-The federal government should subsidise alternative energy so commuters can put solar panels and wind mills on their country homes: Vote Green Party.
 
Free trade
-There are winners and losers when it comes to free trade. Try to be a winner. Good luck and vote Conservative.
-Everybody wins with free trade. That is why corporate welfare and trade agreements with rich nations are important. Vote Liberal.
-Free trade should be world wide, without regional distortions. Workers who are affected by free trade should be compensated. Vote NDP.
-Everybody should grow their own food, except in winter. If Pol Pot wasn't a psycho his plan would have worked. Vote Green Party.
 
The Environment
-The environment is important. The poor will soon be using florescent light bulbs. The rest of us can drive our SUVs guilt free. Vote Conservative.
-Put carbon filters on smoke stacks. Vote Liberal.
-We need a holistic approach to the environment. No point in encouraging wood stoves if asthma goes up. Stop financially encouraging single detached dwellings (urban sprawl). End corporate welfare. Support Via Rail. Vote NDP.
-We need to impose a carbon tax to lower the income taxes of the rich who create jobs for the rest of us.Vote Green Party.
 
Afghanistan
-They love Tim Hortens over there. Soon we will open a Harvey's and the pacifying will be complete. Vote Conservative.
-We aren't exactly sure why we are there, but we should fight, peacefully, until we figure it out. Vote Liberal.
-Ossama Bin Laden and Al Queda. They attacked the United States. As NATO members, we should defend our partners against both. The war in Afghanistan is no longer doing that. Vote NDP.
-The transport planes we are buying to transport our tanks to the other side of the world should be fuel efficient. We should also plant a bunch of poppy seeds to compensate for the release of carbon. Vote Green Party.

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