2009-02-16

Family Day Should be Learn English or French Day

We here in the Maritimes are thrilled that Torontonians set asside at
least one day a year for family. Here in the Maritimes, of course,
every day is family day.

So to justify your holiday, we suggest you spend the day learning
English or French. As an added incentive, exams should be held every
Tuesday after Learn English or French day.

If you fail the test, then of course you will be deported to your home
country. The few Torontonians who were born in Canada and fail the
French test will be sent to Hérouville, Quebec. Franco-Torontonians
who fail the English test will be forced to subscribe to Rogers,
thereby losing access to the Habs games in HD that play on RDS with
Bell TV.

In addition to making my call centre job a lot easier, this
deportation policy will ensure that Toronto remain affordable for all
those Maritimers returning to Toronto after living in Alberta.

I actually told a customer last week that no, as Canada won the cold
war, my company does not offer service in Russian. On more than one
occasion I've also been asked to speak Turkish.

My company has given up on the Chineese, we now have collection agents
who speak Mandarin and Cantonese.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you, as the saying goes. But as I face
an other horrible week trying to deal with Torontonians who do not
speak basic English, this Family day, I want to scream out: RETURN TO
YOUR FAMILIES IN PORTUGAL, RUSSIA, CHINA, TURKEY, ROMANIA and
SCOTLAND. Come back when you speak English (or French).

PS. Yes, I know my spelling is bad and I'm joking about the Scotish,
they are no worse than Newfoundland and Labradorians (who are
incomprehensible but seem to understand me).

Envoyé depuis mon iPhone / Sent from my iPhone.

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