2010-07-18

Top 10 Signs You Chose the Wrong Religion

1. Your religion bans pre-marital sex and you are over 30 and single.
2. Your religion bans pork, ham, beacon, beef or lobster but allows cauliflower.
3. Your religion bans gambling and makes no exception for boring sports like soccer.
4. Your religion bans coveting your neighbour's wife even though he is obviously gay. 
5. Your religion promises you 12 virgins in heaven instead of 12 sluts.
6. Your religion encourages you to hijack a plane and then makes you fly coach. 
7. Your religion bans psychiatric medication and you like to jump on furniture on national TV.
8. Your religion makes you worship your ancestors even though they followed Alan Greenspan's economic theories. 
9. Your Church stops a bike path from being built.
10. You were reincarnated as a cockroach

1 comment:

Skinny Dipper said...

I'm a firm religious believer in no sex before marriage. I just wish I could have gotten married at 14 to Bo Derek.

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